Hello Kitty Hell

Anyone who lives with a Hello Kitty fanatic will know that there are many progressions which take you deep into the hellish nightmare that your life eventually encompasses. For many, the first sign that things aren’t right is when your morning toast inevitably shows up with the evil feline’s face on it. It’s simply one [...]

It has already been well established that the evil feline is more than willing to pimp out anything that she feels will earn her a buck and that Hello Kitty loves her booze, so I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised by this. It seems that a single type of Hello Kitty vodka is not [...]

In her never ending quest to turn the stomach of all sane people while promising rainbows out the back end for her devote followers, Hello Kitty believes that her diabetes inducing soda (Hello Kitty Belly Washers) will somehow wash away all the bad of those who drink it. Far more likely is that it ends [...]

One would assume that Hello Kitty had covered all the water options ( the Hello Kitty water dispenser — Hello Kitty regular bottled water — Hello Kitty premium bottled water — Hello Kitty body shaped mineral water — Hello Kitty skin water), but that would be greatly underestimating her ability to find new markets. Apparently, [...]

It is not often that my wife will give away things in her Hello Kitty collection, but she always has a soft heart when it comes to good causes. When we were in Japan, we used to give toys to a local orphanage. Now that we are back in the US, we needed to come [...]

This is on my wife’s current wish list which probably means that I will soon have the evil feline flipping me off every time I go to get a cup of life sustaining liquid. I wonder how long I will have to sleep in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag when my wife sees me returning [...]

It started off with Hello Kitty bottled water and most people figured that would be enough to satisfy the Hello Kitty fanatics. Not Sanrio. In the unfortunate and misguided belief that the evil feline can be sexy, Sanrio introduced another line of water bottled in Hello Kitty body shaped bottles. Though we all looked to [...]

I received the following question in my email the other day: What are the worst Hello Kitty products out there? “Everything?” would be my immediate response. That being said, many of the things that I personally find horrifying never seemed to raise much of a ruckus among the readers here and the Hello Kitty fanatics [...]

It had to happen. If they make Hello Kitty coffee, it was only a matter of time before they started to make Hello Kitty green tea:

The never ending problem with Hello Kitty is that Sanrio and fanatics have learned that everyone has a price and therefore anything can be Hello Kittified. Want someone to make you a Hello Kitty beer stein for your Hello Kitty beer? Unfortunately, this is not a problem:

As with all things Hello Kitty, no matter how bad you think they have become, somewhere out there the evil feline is ready to show that things can always get worse. It was bad enough that they made a Hello Kitty cocktail, not to mention Hello Kitty wine, Hello Kitty sake and even Hello Kitty [...]

It’s bad enough when stuff gets Hello Kittified, but it takes on a whole new level of Hello Kitty scariness when the evil feline decides to try to add sexiness into the equation as well. There is no other way to explain the concept of this Hello Kitty mineral water:

Hello Kitty Hell just got a whole lot worse…There was a time when I said that the only two things that that had yet to be Hello Kittified were pizza and beer. Of course, the Hello Kitty pizza showed up in my mailbox pretty quickly after that, but the Hello Kitty beer had remained more [...]

Mornings are never a good time of the day in Hello Kitty Hell since I never know what Hello Kitty themed food might show up in front of me. To combat this, I usually get a cup of coffee and sip it while reading the newspaper to prepare myself for what Hello Kitty food may [...]

My wife and I were taking a walk today when she asked if I’d like some water. I said “yes” and was handed one of these: Your eyes do not deceive you. The evil feline has her own line of bottled mineral water which I’m sure they have drugged with something that completely alters your [...]

Hmmmm, it’s not often that I receive a Hello Kitty email that has me torn between this being a good thing or a bad thing (believe me, 99.9% of Hello Kitty photos sent to me are bad things). On the one hand, it is definitely not a good sign that they have started to name [...]

When I wrote about Hello Kitty Rice Wine (sake) a bit ago, you knew that if they made rice wine, they must make regular Hello Kitty wine. We found it at a local store today and of course my wife needed to get a bottle to display with the sake: I learned my lesson from [...]

Last year at this time my wife and I almost had a first in Hello Kitty Hell – a Hello Kitty item that both my wife and I agreed upon was worth buying: Hello Kitty Sake (rice wine). I figured if it could get me drunk, it couldn’t be all that bad of a thing [...]