Fanatic Film Documentary

I debated whether or not I should post this, but I decided that if the fanatics here find something to focus on rather than this blog, that can never be a bad thing. Apparently, someone thought that it would be a good idea to make a documentary film about Hello Kitty fanatics (obviously someone that has never really had to spend much time with them in the past). I assume it’s going to be marketed as some type of real life horror film. Either that or it was special requested by the Department of Homeland Security to be used as the ultimate weapon to obtain confessions from suspected terrorists. Either way, it’s not going to be pretty and there will obviously be an unsuspecting film crew that will end up being scarred far deeper than they ever imagined for the rest of their lives.

hello kitty sanrio documentary film

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Hello Kitty’s Birthday

If you have to ask “When is Hello Kitty’s birthday?” or don’t instantly know that it’s November 1, 1974, then consider yourself one of the luckiest people on the planet. If you do know that November first is Hello Kitty’s birthday, you either have been endowed with an unfortunate intellect which for some unimaginable reason gives you the misguided sense to be a fanatic, or have the truly horrible misfortune to be close to a fanatic. And while it’s a truly sad existence to find yourself in either one of the two latter situations, I do believe that everyone should be wished the very best on their birthday. It’s with this in mind that I recalled the one Hello Kitty cake that I could get behind and once again present it to Hello Kitty on her birthday.

Hello Kitty's birthday cake November 1

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Hello Kitty Japan Tsunami

I would never encourage anyone to buy Hello Kitty crap, but I know that some of you reading this blog are planning to do so no matter how much a rant and rave. If you are planning to buy anything in the near future, then I would encourage you to do it on Thursday March 31 since 100% of profit will go to help the earthquake and tsunami victems in Japan (you don’t realise how painful if was for me to link to the official Sanrio site, but in times of disaster, even sworn enemies must sometimes unite)

If you are somewhat sane, then I would encourage you to donate directly to the Red Cross or by texting REDCROSS to 90999 on your cell phone.

Hello Kitty Fanatic Kid Hell

When it comes to Hello Kitty Hell, the question is who has it the worst. Obviously, everyone and everything that has contact with the Hello Kitty fanatic has to endure their own form of Hello Kitty Hell. While I maintain that it is the significant others of the Hello Kitty fanatic that have it the worst (still doubt?), the dogs and cats of the Hello Kitty fanatic certainly have a valid claim as well. Add the kids of Hello Kitty fanatics to the mix:

hello kitty fanatic kid

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Hello Kitty Magazine in UK

You know, I would think that by now people would realize that I really have no desire to help them spread the cult of Hello Kitty — but of course, that would be greatly underestimating the intellect of those that promote the evil feline. Case in point — this recently ended up in my email box:

Dearest Gatekeeper of HK Hell,

I’ve just started working for HK mag UK, and one of the segments I produce is about the bonkers things people do in the name of Hello Kitty… Needless to say, 90% of images/references/posts all come back to your site. I’m hoping you might be willing to provide me with contact details for key images/pieces/products that you feature…

This by no means would see you endorsing the mag, product or Hello Kitty, but would simply be a way for people to have an alternative avenue to showcase their endeavours. As I’ve just come on-board at the mag, I don’t have an established fan-base to draw upon; your blog is literally the best reference internationally for such things — Alessandra

It seems that now Hello Kitty magazines believe it’s my job to do their work for them because it is obvious to them how much I would actually love spending more time than I already have to with the evil feline. It really is not a good sign in Hello Kitty Hell when people from Hello Kitty magazines are contacting me for help. It’s even worse that they considered HKH the best international reference for things Hello Kitty. I have a feeling it is going to be a long, long week…

Hello Kitty Week in Review

It’s that time of the week again to self inflict massive amounts of pain to your brain by looking at the Hello Kitty crap that didn’t make the front page. This email I received sums it up pretty well:

This site freaking proves how deadly and dangerous a place the internets really is. One minute I’m pretending to work while searching guitars on google and everything is great the world is a happy place for me. About 3 clicks and 2 minutes later I’m in “WTF” HelloKittyHell?!!? (The sad part is, I’ve been here like 2 hours looking at hello kitty vibrators and handguns!) — Kelly

Proceed at your own risk:

Hello Kitty Google Chrome Theme
Hello Kitty Sushi Plush (update)
Hello Kitty Snuggie (update)
Hello Kitty Darth Vader Helmet
Hello Kitty Kilt
Hello Kitty Tattoos (photo gallery)
Hello Kitty Scarification (photo gallery)

And just to make the week all the more Hellish, I now have readers whining for Hello Kitty crap from me (which I would obviously already be giving away if the consequences from my wife weren’t so severe)

I was the winner of the Hello Kitty optical mousepad (which I am enjoying, by the way), and I have a sad story. For Christmas, my boyfriend, whom I live with, promised to get me the Build-A-Bear Hello Kitty doll. Instead, he got me nothing. Not a flower. Not a card. Nothin’. Zip. Zilch. He said he “didn’t have time.” This has made me incredibly sad and has RUINED my holiday (especially since I knitted everyone in his WHOLE family personalized scarves, AND got him plenty of Christmas gifts). I feel an injustice has been done to me.

I am aware of you and your lovely wife’s recent return to the US. Welcome back. If you feel obliged to send any of your wife’s extraneous Hello Kitty dolls my way, no matter how small, you would make a Georgia girl’s holiday happy again! I know this request may sound pathetic, but I am feeling despondent and, quite frankly, heartbroken. I wanted a Hello Kitty gift this year, and was severely let down. — Rebecca

Believe me, if you have to rely on someone living in Hello Kitty Hell to rescue you from being despondent because you didn’t get the Hello Kitty crap you wanted for Christmas, you’re going to be despondent for a long, long time…

Hello Kitty Week In Review

It’s never a good sign when the first week of the New Year begins with situations like this, and it gets even worse when I take a look at all those posts that didn’t make the front page this week. Flee while you can and leave the links below alone because once you look, there is no erasing what you have seen:

Hello Kitty Weapons (photo gallery)
Hello Kitty Fanatic Significant Other (update)
Hello Kitty Star Wars (photo gallery)
Hello Kitty Snuggie (update)
Hello Kitty Bong (update)
Hello Kitty Room (update)
Hello Kitty Xbox Controller
Hello Kitty Advent Calendar (update)

Hello Kitty Weekly Update

It’s that time when I list all those updates and posts that didn’t make the front page. If you really want to make 2010 better than 2009, one of the first resolutions that you should make is to stop torturing yourself by looking at all the Hello Kitty crap that exists in the world. That mean leaving this blog right now and doing something massively more productive and beneficial to the world like watching butter melt or grass grow.

And if you happen to be one of those people that are here because you actually like the evil feline, a Hello Kitty detox program would probably be a wonderful New Year’s Resolution for yourself. Just saying…

Hello Kitty Fanatic Significant Other Photo (update)
Hello Kitty Bratz Lady Gaga Dress
Hello Kitty Soldier Cake
Hello Kitty Computer Keyboard (update)
Hello Kitty Mouth Mutant
Hello Kitty Wine (update)
Hello Kitty Eye Mask (update)
Hello Kitty Wii (update)
Hello Kitty Dog Holiday Nightmare
Hello Kitty Xmas Tree (update)
Hello Kitty Fanatic Shame
Hello Kitty Christmas Stocking
Hello Kitty Advent Calendar
Hello Kitty Water Dispenser

Hello Kitty Weekend Update

Don’t you have some holiday shopping to do? Yeah, it sucks fighting the crowds, but it is immeasurably more pleasant than looking at the links below that didn’t make the front page this past week. So is eating fruit cake — or for that matter, getting whacked upside the head with a fruit cake. What I’m trying to subtly say is that you can basically do anything else that you can imagine — no matter how painful it may be — and you will be much happier than looking at the links below. You’ll also save yourself the inevitable nightmares for the rest of the week. You know, one day I’m hoping that you finally learn…

Hello Kitty Gangster Car (update)
Hello Kitty Hand Grenade (update)
Hello Kitty Throws Up Rainbows
Hello Kitty Snuggie
Hello Kitty Nipple Tassels (update)
Hello Kitty Edible Fruit Bouquet (update)
Hello Kitty Xmas Tree (update)
Hello Kitty Pink Room (update)
Hello Kitty Band Aids (update)
Hello Kitty Pajama Bottoms on Men

Hello Kitty Weekly Links

I know, I know. It’s like a car wreck. Even though you know that you will thoroughly regret it, you still slow down and take a look. In the same way, you know that you will thoroughly regret looking at all this Hello Kitty stuff that didn’t make the front page:

Hello Kitty POW Ambush Necklace
Hello Kitty LCD TV (update)
Hello Kitty Christmas Wreath
Hello Kitty Blythe Doll
Hello Kitty Judith Leiber $4000 Hobo Bag
Hello Kitty Band Aids (update)
Hello Kitty Nails (update)
Hello Kitty Version Love & Peace = Paradise Mano Erina (video)

Hello Kitty Weekly Photos

It’s that time of the week again where you know that you should not be anywhere near this blog if you want to keep any of your sanity or sleep well in the coming 7 days. Go outside and cut down a Christmas tree (preferably the non Hello Kitty type) — you’ll be much happier than if you decide to take a peak at the evil feline horror show that didn’t make the front page this past week:

Hello Kitty Christmas Tree (photo update)
Hello Kitty Swine Flu Mask (photo update)
Hello Kitty Sweatshirt Will Kill You
Hello Kitty Must Die
Hello Kitty Wash Your What?!?
Hello Kitty Fanatic Significant Other (photo update)

Hello Kitty Must Die

It’s not often you come across the perfect gift for the Hello Kitty fanatic, but Hello Kitty Must Die by Angela S. Choi is a pretty close to being one. I don’t even know what is inside it and I already like it. Of course, I would spend at least a month on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag if I ever get it for my wife, but it may be worth the price…

Hello Kitty Must Die

Sent in by Jennifer

Call For Artists

This is a non Hello Kitty related post that I will leave up here for a few days concerning another project that I’m currently working on called the Penny Experiment. I’m hoping to donate a lot of food to food banks. If you would like to help in this project, it would be most appreciated.

The greatest need right now is to let people know that the project exists. If you feel that the project is worthwhile, I’d greatly appreciate it if you could pass it along to your friends and family. I have created a facebook page, a twitter account and rss feed which are all pretty lonely at the moment.

I’m also searching for 100 different artists that would be willing to donate a bit of their time and talent. If you know of anyone who is an artist, please let them know about this project. If you are an artist and think you may be willing to help out with this project, please contact me and I will give you detailed information.

Thank you for taking the time to consider helping me out with this project. It’s greatly appreciated.

Hello Kitty Holiday Photo Dump

It’s that time of the week. You once again have the opportunity to spare yourself from the horror that the evil feline has to offer this week. Simply go outside and do something productive and fun. Your other choice is to click on the links below to all those photos that didn’t make the front page. If you choose the later, consider inviting some of your visiting relatives to share in the horror so they can better appreciate all they have to be thankful for — namely, not living in Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Target
Hello Kitty Boyfriend (update)
Hello Kitty Kidney
Hello Kitty Bottle Bottled Water
Hello Kitty Airplane (video)
Hello Kitty Turkey
Hello Kitty Xmas Tree (update)
Hello Kitty Reflector

Weekly Update

It’s once again that time of the week where you have the choice of leaving this blog and enjoying your weekend, or inflicting pain and torture upon yourself by looking at all the horrifying additions that didn’t make the front page this week. A bit of advice — just because there is a car wreck doesn’t mean that you have to look…

Hello Kitty Luggage (update)
Hello Kitty Hat and Mittens
Hello Kitty Flowers (update)
Hello Kitty Hangers
Hello Kitty Earbuds
Hello Kitty Digital Scale (update)
Hello Kitty Nails (update)
Hello Kitty Hoodie
Hello Kitty Halloween Costumes (update)
Hello Kitty Sex Doll Harem (possibly NSFW)
Hello Kitty Swine Flu Mask (update)

Hello Kitty Fanatic Significant Other Photo

The worst part of having a Hello Kitty fanatic as a significant other is that they think that taking photos of you with Hello Kitty things is cute. If you are naive enough to indulge this urge of the Hello Kitty fanatic, you end up with photos like this of you holding a Hello Kitty bath mat and awkwardly smiling toward the camera:

Hello Kitty bath mat

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Hello Kitty Photo Dump Posts

It’s that time of the week again where you have the choice to go outside, enjoy the day and keep your sanity, or go through all the posts that didn’t make the front page of this blog. I highly recommend the first option, but for those of you who are into self torture, there is plenty to make you have nightmares:

Hello Kitty Toilet (update)
Hello Kitty Sex Slave (update)
Hello Kitty Sandwich Bag Mod
Hello Kitty Gumball Machine
Hello Kitty Religious Cross (update)
Hello Kitty Credit Card (update)
Hello Kitty Smart Car (update)
Hello Kitty Canopy
Hello Kitty Debit Card (update)
Hello Kitty Paintball Gun
Hello Kitty Halloween Costumes (w/ updates)
Hello Kitty Smashing Pumpkins
Hello Kitty Pinhead Tattoo

Hello Kitty Photo Dump

It’s that time of the week again when those posts that that didn’t make the front page are listed for self induced torture for those who decide for some unfathomable reason that you must go and visit them (It must be car wreck syndrome — you know you shouldn’t look, but you have to anyway…). The scariest part is that it seems no matter how many of these I list, more still arrive – a constant Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Nails (update)
Hello Kitty .45 Caliber Handgun
Hello Kitty Radio Controlled Truck
Hello Kitty and Disco Stormtrooper Costumes
Hello Kitty Box Cutter
Hello Kitty Swine Flu Mask
Hello Kitty eMac
Hello Kitty Jack-o-Lantern (update)
Hello Kitty Bloodfest
Hello Kitty Darth Vader Halloween Costume
Hello Kitty Halloween Tattoo
Hello Kitty Three Apples Fashion
Hello Kitty Headband Bow (update)
Hello Kitty Roller Coaster

Hello Kitty Weekly Photo Dump

Another week and another list of photos that didn’t make the front page of the blog, but are still worthy of Hello Kitty Hell. As always, it’s best to turn off your computer or move onto another blog and ignore these because you will surely wish you hadn’t seen them if you click on the links. For those that feel a lot of pain and anguish is exactly what you need at the moment, click away…

Hello Kitty Crystal Music Player
Hello Kitty Munster Tattoo
Hello Kitty Car Window Decal
Hello Kitty Nails
Hello Kitty Sig Sauer p226 Gun
How To Make a Hello Kitty Mascot Head
Hello Kitty Detox Cute and the Beauty Junkies Song
Hello Kitty Cutting Board (update)
Hello Kitty Pokemon Fetish (nsfw – or your sanity)
Hello Kitty True Identity
Hello Kitty Hello Kitty (update)
Hello Kitty Jack-o-Lantern
Hello Kitty Shower

Hello Kitty Weekly Photo Dump

For those of you that enjoy torturing yourself to no end, here are the photos from the last week that didn’t make the front page of the blog, but still will send shivers down your spine (just don’t do it – you’ll be much happier if you avoid these links and go for a long walk – you have been warned…)

Hello Kitty Porn Star Tera Patrick (sfw)
Hello Kitty Farmville
Hello Kitty Tattoo Promo
Hello Kitty Sushi Plush
Hello Kitty Gangster Car
Hello Kitty Telephone Booth
Hello Kitty Nori Cutter
Hello Kitty Skis (update)

See, I told you…